With all of the hype surrounding the new song by Rihanna and Eminem (Russian Roulette/Love the Way You Lie) I have been thinking a lot about domestic violence in the media. I found this post on Sociological Images this morning and I really cannot express how I feel any better than they already have so just read the article…
Here is a great quote to wet your appetite,
Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a beautiful song. Rihanna’s vocals are gorgeous; it’s was hard to not feel heartfelt while listening to them. And that’s the problem. It’s a powerful form of socialization. That we might internalize the message that passionate love and incontrollable rage go hand-in-hand is really very scary. It suggests not only that you should tolerate interpersonal violence but that, if there is no violence in your relationship, perhaps you don’t really love one another. Better go out and find someone who will beat you.
People might disagree with me and some might say they only like it for the catchy tune. The fact still stands, glamorizing domestic violence by combining hurtful lyrics and a nice beat is ALWAYS harmful, even if we “don’t even listen to the lyrics.”
I think that author of this post is right, the fact “that Rihanna of all people, a woman who could have made a powerful statement against this type of message, is participating in glamorizing the very violence she suffered, is very disheartening.” If change is to occur, perhaps victims of violence should speak out against their abuse, instead of giving in a glamorizing it.
And that’s all I have to say about that…
…but here’s one more article, just in case you are as fired up about this as I am.
What do you think about all of the commenters who disagree with you – that the video isn’t glamorizing the relationship, it’s giving voice to the abused’s viewpoint, how the relationship looks/feels from the inside? That expecting all depictions of abuse to look “bad” all the time sets people up to not be able to recognize abuse when it happens in an otherwise loving relationship, or comes from an otherwise “great” guy?
While I might agree with the fact that abusive relationships are more complex than anyone who has been in one can truly realize, I still think this qualifies as a glamorizing of situations like this. First of all, there is no mention of how to fix an abusive relationship. Yes, abusive relationships feel different from the inside but that does not justify them and it does not mean that people should stay in one because the partner is “otherwise great.”
This song, while portraying a story, ends with the man saying
“If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I’mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire”
This song might give an interesting glimpse into the minds of people in abusive relationships but it certainly does not provide any insight into healthy ways to leave one.